I'VE RELEASED A DUET WITH SOMEONE IMPORTANT - MY PRE-TRANSITION SELF

I’ve been making noise since I was a kid. 

Soon, that noise turned into rhythm; rhythm turned into songs, and songwriting turned into something that kept me alive. 

As a child who understood himself only as ‘a boy inside a girl’s body’, the one place I felt I could truly express myself was on stage singing. 

Looking up at heroes like David Bowie, it felt safe for me to be slightly unusual, like them – as long as I was making music. 

In the early days the songs I wrote were about secret crushes I had on girls in school. However, I did write one song that was about a girl who was always being misunderstood.

It was called ‘Miss Conception’ and had the chorus lyric: ‘I wonder if you know when you were looking at her, you were also looking at me’. 

The song was about me. About my identity, and feeling trapped inside someone else’s skin. 

After that, I went on to release music under a few different stage names, but mostly under Lots Holloway, and was lucky enough to have a stream of successful singles between 2017-2019. 

In 2020 however, my life came to a complete halt (much like everyone else’s). 

Not only were we in the trappings of a pandemic, meaning I was unable to gig and make money, but in slowing down and taking a look at my life, I also decided I could no longer live as the person I was pretending to be. 

From the age of 15 I had really struggled to accept myself, and so had forced myself to become someone else, someone I thought everyone wanted me to be. 

I’d created a character with a cheeky grin and a huge ego whom everyone seemed to like. And for a while, I was actually convinced I would be able to live that lie forever.

But having a secret life, with secret dreams and secret desires while keeping up this external bravado for the world was tiring and isolating. I felt like no one knew the real me, I’d never felt so lonely.

So, aged 27, I came out to my family, friends and fans, publicly, as a transgender man. 

I then removed myself from social media and began my transition in private, scared that taking testosterone as part of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) could potentially impact my singing voice – which it did.

Gradually, my range became increasingly smaller – due to my vocal chords, pitching, tone and stamina all changing – and I found that, when I did sing or gig, my voice would often hit notes well outside of the key.

It was embarrassing and despite the tremendous support from everyone around me, I was terrified that the one place I’d ever felt accepted could be completely stripped away from me. Then what would I do to survive? 

Through music though, I found the strength to fight for myself and the life I truly deserved. 

Four years and a whole octave drop later, I am Dylan Holloway – otherwise known as Dylan and the Moon. 

I came back into the public eye in 2022 with a bang, announcing a headline show and releasing a new version of an old song of mine Heaven Now; using my old voice as a backing singer. 

At one point, I’d wanted to become Dylan and move on with my life, but in my transition, it became so apparent to me that ‘Lots’ was the strong, brave, resilient and kind human who brought me to be who I am today. There was no chance I could lock that person away.

I began public speaking and now travel internationally giving keynote speeches and workshops at schools, on panels and in companies about the power of authenticity and why it matters.

Right now, I am also working on an exciting documentary with a film company, which follows me from the very beginning of my transition, to the present day targeted for release at Sundance Festival 2025.

All that said, still the most exciting thing for me is waking up tomorrow knowing my only job is to be even more me than I was yesterday – and to try to help others do the same. 

‘I don’t know where I’m going, but I promise it won’t be boring,’ is a quote from one of my first heroes, David Bowie – I think it gives the most accurate description of my life right now.

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2024-06-24T07:49:27Z dg43tfdfdgfd